MERCY – The Marriage Education & Resource Center

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The Wedding Day

Older Couple Hugging at Beach

Saturday, February 7 we will have been married 45 years.  When we stood at that altar in Louisville, KY we had no idea what we were committing to.  We heard what the minister was saying, but didn’t really understand what we were signing up for.

No one warned us that couples can go through something called the “misery stage.”

They failed to explain what Dr. Stanley outlines in his book, Heart of Commitment .

  • Commitment Involves Choices – often hard choices.  There’s a cost to commitment.
  • Commitment is about Sacrifice – Becoming other-centered.
  • Commitment is making your marriage a priority and investing in your marriage.  It’s about seeking out services/help if it begins to break down.
  • Commitment means giving up some other options and protecting others – especially true when the path you are on gets rocky.
  • And commitment involves grieving some losses – being committed hurts at times.  People change over time.  Your mate may not be who you thought he/she was when you said “I do.” You have a choice. You can punish and resent your spouse for changing your dream or become more accepting.  There are some things your mate may never be able to meet.

If I had known then what I know today, would I still say, “I do.”  Yes, but I would be so much better prepared for this journey called marriage.

 

 

When You Are Sick and Tired

taking-care-of-spouse I’ve been sick. I was in the hospital for two days. It’s been a long time since I remember feeling so horrible. I want to brag on my husband. He was there every step of the way. He took me to the hospital at 3:30 a.m., sat by my side, prayed for me and with me. He kept the kids informed as we were thousands of miles away from them. Even though I was so sick I couldn’t hardly hold my head up, my love for him was huge at that time. I don’t know what I would have done without him. Just know how you take care of your spouse during an illness, will speak louder than you can imagine.

Memory Making

shutterstock_118416478 couple dancing

My husband, David, and I met at a YMCA dance. I was 14 and he was 17. We flirted with each other and we danced.  Oh, how I loved to dance.  Well that was 50 years ago.  For my birthday this year, David suggested the kids get me a CD by John Denver.  I had recently mentioned I wish they made songs like his again.  That’s one of the things I love about my husband.  He is attentive to the little things.  This morning he put on the CD.  It was “Annie’s Song.”  That’s one of my favorites. I said, “Let’s dance.”  We did and it was special.  For a few moments it took me back to that first time we danced when I was 14 and he was 17, but so much richer now.  Time and memories will do that.  I told him, “This is where we came in. This is where we began many years ago.”  I hope you have those special moments.  If you haven’t for awhile, why not make one today.