Valentine’s Day for 2013 is now history and we hope you did something special for your loved one. However, it’s what you do on the other 364 days that is going to make a real impact on how well your relationship goes for the rest of the year. So we just wanted to share a few tips to hopefully keep the love going.
- Give one another some slack. Don’t interpret everything your spouse says as a dig or look at things in the most negative light. You may have to push yourself to look for evidence that is contrary to the negative interpretation you normally take.
- Remember you are companions (a team) not competitors.
- Accept that your relationship will change.
- Learn good communication and conflict resolution skills. There are many resources available. Attend some of our workshops, read books, like A Lasting Promise, The Power of Two , The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and Communication and Conflict Resolution from the Family Life Home Series, just to name a few. Check out our resources on this web site for additional helps. Or, research articles on the web.
- Learn your spouse’s love language and speak it often . The Five Love Languages is one of our favorite resources.
- Take a time out when things are starting to escalate. During this time out, do something to calm yourself down, pray, and think about how your partner may be viewing the situation and come back to the table (within 24 hours) with the goal of trying to resolve the problem, not attack your spouse.
- Stay committed.
- Be willing to sacrifice.
- Show respect.
- Show admiration/compliment each other – often.
- Do not pay evil for evil.
- Protect your marriage.
- Study your spouse.
- Have realistic expectations.
- Kiss hello and goodbye.
- Pray for and with each other.
- If struggling, get help.
Well, the list could just go on and on, but if you will just focus on a few of these, we think you will see some positive results.
Grace and peace,
Penny and David Hudson
I just returned from speaking at a mom’s conference and one of the messages the ladies heard several times was do not become so child focused you forget your husband. When couples announce they are having a baby, we often think of only one – the mother – as having a baby. But normally two people are embarking on this new adventure, and one is frequently ignored – the father. Then, once the baby comes along, mom has a whole new love and the dad has lost his first love – his wife. This is what happens in so many marriages. Please do not let this happen to your relationship. The best thing you can do for your children is to work on your relationship with your mate. They will be watching and their marriage will one day look a lot like yours.
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