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Love – How you doing in that department?

5444467728_9d139dde6f_large[1]At a recent speaking engagement, we shared with our audience that some of the most eye-opening versus for us, when we first became Christians, were found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  I think they were so magnified because our marriage wasn’t doing too well at the time and if I compared what was going on in our relationship with what these versus were saying, we were doing a pretty lousy job of loving one another.  How about you?  Listen to what these Scriptures say:

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”

While these versus are often quoted at weddings and referred to as the love chapter, they should probably be mandatory reading, and reflection, on a regular basis to determine how well we are doing. Therefore, why not spend a few minutes reflecting on this portrayal of love in your life as you relate to your spouse.  Evaluate how you feel about how well you demonstrate these in your life to your spouse.  On a scale of 1 – 5, with a 1 being poor and 5 being excellent, how are you doing?  When finished, think and pray about those areas where you want to improve.

Who is Responsible Here?

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Somewhere their wires got crossed.  My husband insists he told them he wanted to pick up the green beans at noon.  And I believe him.  He is the most efficient man (no person) I have ever known. When he arrived, the restaurant was closed.  He was stressed and wasn’t happy with them. We had eleven people coming for dinner in half an hour.  Keep reading there’s a happy ending.

If this had happened to me I would have begin thinking, “I must have told them wrong.  I probably gave them the wrong time.  I should have checked to be sure they were going to be open that day.”  And on and on I’d go trying to figure out how I messed up.

See men and women often react differently to situations.  Most men look at the circumstances.  Women blame themselves.  Your husband might wonder why in the world you would take on the responsibility for something when it’s clearly someone else’s fault.  You, on the other hand, may be thinking, “Well I could have made a mistake.”  While you may be aware of these different gender patterns, it’s always easy to go to our default and react in our most familiar ways.

Well, I promised you a happy ending.  My husband called a few minutes later. Don’t worry, “The restaurant is now open.” He had gotten there a little too early.   I told you he was efficient!

 

 

A Stinking Thinking Thing

Architects Standing in Front of BlueprintsAs I walked into the family room, my husband was at the desk with the vacation folder out talking with someone on the phone.

After he hung up, I said, “I thought you were going to wait until we heard back from the children.”  I assumed he had already gone ahead and made reservations for vacation. This is something we had talked about and agreed we would wait until everyone was on board.

“I was talking to them about the insurance we may want to take out in case one of us gets sick.”

“Oh!”  See I had jumped to a conclusion.  Do you ever do this?  When we assume, all kinds of things can happen — misunderstandings, frustration, disrespect, communication divide, unnecessary conflict or our spouse may think we are trying to parent them.

A counselor friend of ours says, “We like to know, so in light of not knowing, we make assumptions. ”   Not a good thing!