When working with couples through an inventory assessment, one of the first things we look at is how they interact with one another. Do either of them avoid dealing with issues? How about assertiveness? Is it difficult for one of the individuals to express their true feelings to the other, or is it hard for one to ask for what they want?
These are red flags that we have some work to do in the areas of communication and conflict resolution.
In our last workshop on “Crucial Conversations,” we heard a story about an airline crew that knew they were low on fuel, but were afraid to approach the pilot for fear that would be seen as insubordinate and lose their jobs. Because they failed to speak up about this issue, the plane crashed and burned.
When we do not learn to communicate well, share concerns and learn to resolve problems, we too may crash and burn in our marriages. These are skills that can be learned. Get some help. Take some classes. Read books. One in particular we like, along with the workbook, is The Power of Two – Communication Skills for a Strong and Loving Marriage, by Susan Heitler, Ph.D., Abigail Hirsch, MA. We pretty sure if you read this book and do the activities in the workbook, you will see improvements in how you interact with one another.