Saturday, February 7 we will have been married 45 years. When we stood at that altar in Louisville, KY we had no idea what we were committing to. We heard what the minister was saying, but didn’t really understand what we were signing up for.
No one warned us that couples can go through something called the “misery stage.”
They failed to explain what Dr. Stanley outlines in his book, Heart of Commitment .
- Commitment Involves Choices – often hard choices. There’s a cost to commitment.
- Commitment is about Sacrifice – Becoming other-centered.
- Commitment is making your marriage a priority and investing in your marriage. It’s about seeking out services/help if it begins to break down.
- Commitment means giving up some other options and protecting others – especially true when the path you are on gets rocky.
- And commitment involves grieving some losses – being committed hurts at times. People change over time. Your mate may not be who you thought he/she was when you said “I do.” You have a choice. You can punish and resent your spouse for changing your dream or become more accepting. There are some things your mate may never be able to meet.
If I had known then what I know today, would I still say, “I do.” Yes, but I would be so much better prepared for this journey called marriage.