I 
remember a professor once saying, “Let negative messages go.” What? Being one who wants to analyze everything and get to the heart of a matter, this didn’t align well with me. Besides, I had been taught you get things out in the open and resolve them. Later, however, I realized I was the one misinterpreting what she was trying to teach us. She wasn’t saying you withdraw or try to escape or ignore a situation. We all know this is unhealthy and harmful to a relationship. We don’t want to deny it or pretend it doesn’t exist. What she was trying to get across was it’s not necessary to address every little offense or comment. We need to ask ourselves, “Is this really worth fighting over?” “Could I have misinterpreted what the other person said?” “Is this something I could overlook?” For example, the other day when my husband said, “Let me show you how to make the bed.” I thought, “Do what? I’ve been making beds for over 50 years. I know how to make a bed.” I could have easily gone there, but that still small voice told me “Let it go.” With God’s prompting, I’ve been trying to practice this and it’s making a huge difference. Some things just aren’t worth fighting over and some are. After all, that’s often how God treats us and it’s recommended in Scripture (Proverbs 19:11, Proverbs 17:14, 1 Peter 4:8, Ephesians 4:2). Letting a negative message to is an active choice, often a strong choice and often the right choice.
So when should you not overlook an offense. According to Ken Sande in Resolving Everyday Conflicts, he points out:
- When it’s damaging your relationship with a person.
- When it’s hurting other people.
- When it’s hurting the offender.
- When it’s significantly dishonoring God.
You need to consider the appropriate response for each situation.