When the couple was asked to share three things they wou
ld like more or less of in their relationship, at the top of her list was “I would like my husband to be less sarcastic.”
He really didn’t realize how hurtful his snide remarks had become to his wife. Once she shared with him how they made her feel, he did make an effort to work on this issue and things got better.
But what about those who are still struggling with this in their marriage? I recently read an article by Dr. Valerie Vincent, Pastoral Counselor, who was asked about the subject of sarcasm. I think she made some excellent points and would like to share them with you this week.
“Some view sarcasm as a joke that is not really meant. But jokes are suppose to be humorous everyone can enjoy. Call it what it is – a put down.
“James 3:5 declares, ‘A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it!’ In this light, sarcasm might be a weapon of mass destruction in marriages.
“Proverbs 18:21 says, ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it’s fruit.’ The warnings instruct us to take great care with what we say.
“At the heart of sarcasm are issues of respect, value, kindness and caring, and honoring God’s creation. Sarcasm is a destructive habit that avoids taking responsibility for the hurt inflicted on another. There is no good excuse for using words to criticize, belittle, demean, hurt or offend.”
If sarcasm is something that has become a habit in your relationship, we hope you will think about this the next time you are tempted to sling a few of those invalidations toward another.
Grace and peace,
Penny Hudson