May 2013 Newsletter

May 2013 Newsletter from MERCY

May 2013 Newsletter From The Marriage Education

and Resource Center (MERCY)

Greetings!

Do you think it’s safe to say that spring is finally here? Hopefully, the barrenness and frigid wind of winter is history. What a welcome change!

Ever wish you could experience a similar sense of newness, freshness and warmth in your marriage?

That’s the purpose of The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY). Something we are trying to change in society, and in our churches, is that you only go to places like MERCY if you are having problems. That is not the case. While we are available to help couples who are struggling, we are here to help make good marriages better. So we hope you will take advantage of the many opportunities to enrich your relationship and have a smart marriage.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David Hudson

Ultimate Date Night

At the Ultimate Date Night, with Kenn Kington on May 17, about 200 people were able to check their cares at the door, laugh a lot, reconnect and enjoy one another’s company for an evening. It was a great thing to witness.

Kenn shared some humorous realities and some timeless truths on marriage relationships. For example, he said we need to know our spouse’s heart and not jump to conclusions. He reminded us not to sweep things under, but sweep them up and deal with them and to remember the two most important minutes in your day — the minute before you leave one another and the minute you return. Make the most of those two minutes by physically and emotionally connecting. Good advice don’t you think?

If you missed this event, Kenn has written a great book called Super Husband and Wonder Wife, that we would recommend. You can buy it on Kenn’s web site: www.kennkington.com, amazon, Christian book stores, or you could just borrow it from MERCY. It has some re-connecting activities at the end of each chapter you can do in the privacy of your home, or it would be a great resource for a small group.

May’s Marriage Tip

Since we are on the subject of Kenn Kington, our marriage tip this month comes from his book Super Husband and Wonder Wife.

Kenn said when he and his wife, Heather, were thinking of getting married he asked his married friend Stan to explain why he and Heather should get married.

Stan replied, “Well, if you can’t figure out the first reason, you may have the gift of singleness.”

Kenn assured him that wasn’t his gift and he said what Stan shared helped him see marriage in a whole new light. Following is Stan’s advice:

“If you are looking for someone to meet your needs, make you happy, and make your life worthwhile, you will be greatly disappointed, quickly discouraged, and basically unhappy the rest of your life. But, if you will just be the person God has made you to be, and find out how you can give your life to someone else by meeting her needs and making her happy, you will discover fulfillment, joy and peace in ways you can’t even imagine.”

FRIENDS OF MERCY – John and Emily Stewart and employees of Encompass

We don’t know if you saw it or not, but on May 15, The Courier-Journal wrote an article about Encompass, a local development, design and construction company. They were featured as a compassionate community company. John Stewart, the Owner/President of Encompass and his wife Emily, who is the Human Resources Director, identify with the compassion efforts in Louisville.

In the article John emphasized their company has a set of written goals the company works off of – which includes a “desire to glorify God in what we do” and to “pray for each other.” See compassion is part of their business model. And, MERCY, as well as others, have benefited

from the compassion they have shown us and we just want to take this time to thank them for their support. We hope you’ll view this video and read the on-line article. We think you will be inspired by what they do.

To view their story and the video please go to: http://www.courier-journal.com/videonetwork/2378814456001/Compassion-part-of-why-of-Encompass

nancy landrum

How to Stay Married and Love It

One thing we like to do is to be able to point you to resources that you may find useful. So I wanted to share with you a web site called “How to Stay Married and Love It” by Nancy Landrum, author and coach for marriage relationships.

What better person to help you find your way through a struggling marriage, a floundering stepfamily, a profound loss or a crisis of faith than someone who has walked a similar road?

Nancy Landrum does more than just talk the talk of healthy families and marriages. She faced the erosion of a marriage, was blindsided by the issues particular to stepfamilies, navigated the pain and loss of being twice widowed, and learned some lessons that come with a child who is lost in a life of addiction. Nancy could have given into a life of despair.

She despaired, but did not give in. Instead she worked to heal her own relationships, experienced significant growth as a wife, mother and stepmother and has now turned this personal experience into a life passion to teach effective communication and conflict resolution skills to others who hunger for loving, functional relationships.

If you would like to know more, go to www.nancylandrum.com

There you will find resources, articles, seminar offerings, stepfamily information, a few free downloads and more.

Financial Stress – It’s Not Just The Money – Next Workshop at MERCY

Why do so many conflicts and issues stem from money?

Every couple and family has issues and arguments about money and how to spend it. It doesn’t matter if they have a lot of cash or are barely getting by. The couples and families don’t see how these actions are toxic triggers that stress the relationship.

Join us and find out what your money personality is and how it impacts your spending outlook.

This workshop is based on The 5 Money Personalities by Scott and Bethany Palmer. The principles developed by the Palmers help couples and families understand the dynamics in these situations and give practical information and tools to avoid the hurt and angry feelings.

June 15, 2012

9:30 – 11:00 a.m.

(Note: This date is a change from the originally scheduled one.)

Baptist Health – Louisville

4000 Kresge Way

Louisville, KY 40207

Workshop Leaders are John and Mary Ann Vanderveer – Marriage Educators

John and Mary Ann led our workshop last year on the “Five Languages of Apology” and the feedback on their presentation was excellent.

Volunteers Needed for Divorce Care for Kids and Teens

DivorceCare is a biblically-based support group ministry designed to help people heal from the intense pain of separation or divorce.

DivorceCare groups are facilitated by church members who have personally experienced divorce as a child and/or as an adult. These leaders are not counselors, just fellow travelers along life’s journey.

During the 13-weeks of DivorceCare, each two-hour session includes a topical DVD presentation featuring top experts on divorce and recovery subjects. Sessions also include discussion time so group members can listen and help one another face issues and challenges related to separation and/or divorce.

Rita Ostwalt-Whitfield heads up a DivorceCare group at LaGrange Christian Church in LaGrange, KY. She would like to invite new volunteer leaders to become a part of this ministry. There is a particular need for volunteer leaders who would be willing to lead a program for DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K), which is for children ages 5-12 or The Big D for teenagers. Training will be provided. These are two great programs that will help children and/or teens heal and find strength to confront, accept and deal with their feelings. If you have a heart for those who are dealing with the pain and challenges of divorce, won’t you please contact Rita Ostwalt-Whitfield at 502-939-8449 or proudgrandma@insightbb.com. Additional information about DivorceCare and DC4K is available at www.divorcecare.org. Information about The Big D is available at www.sonsetpointministries.com

Virtual Marriage Enrichment Groups (MEGS)

A Marriage Enrichment Group (MEG) is a group of couples who get together on a regular basis, perhaps monthly, to focus time and attention on their relationships. The focus of the group is on each couple’s own marriage experiences, not children, in-laws, books, work, or abstract ideas.

David and I have been involved in a MEG for over 25 years and we love our group. We call ours a Coupletime group as ours normally focuses, not only on relationship skills, but what the Bible tells us about marriage.

Better Marriages, whose mission is building better marriages, starting with our own, primarily focuses on the relationship skills portion. They now have a Virtual MEG group anyone can be a part of on a monthly basis. If this would be something you would be interested in, you can join this Virtual MEG group (phone or webcast) the first Tuesday of every month at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

The next one is scheduled for:

Tuesday, June 4 at 8:00 p.m. (Eastern Time)

Topic: Caring Behaviors

Dial in: 206-402-0110, Guest Code: 367457#

To attend the Virtual MEG as a webcast and view slides on your computer, click this link at the time of the event:

http://attendthisevent.com/?eventID=41548908

If you decide to try this, we’d love to hear from you and get your feedback.

Planting Seeds for Success

We hope you, and your family, will join us and other community agencies on June 1 from 11:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. at the Main Library in LaGrange.

You can sign your children up for the library’s summer reading program and enjoy family activities such as Honey Hill Farm Petting Zoo (weather permitting), KaZoing!, music, food trucks, storybook characters, free health screenings, and more.

Drop in anytime! Food vendors will be on hand if you want to purchase lunch while enjoying the activities. This event is free to the public and open to people of all ages.

happy couple Date Night Challenge for June –

Topic Laughter

– What’s your favorite comedy of all time? Rent that movie for old time’s sake and stay home together and laugh. You could even rent a holiday comedy out of season (Elf, Christmas Vacation, etc.)

– Book tickets to go see a comedian coming to the area (Chonda Pierce will be in Louisville at the Brown Theater on June 20.)

– Set a date night either together or with other couples and play “Whose Line Is it Anyway.” You can find a list of the games from the TV show by simply doing a Google search of the show. Have fun with the ad libs all night long.

– Take a mini-road trip and do karaoke in the car. Sing your favorite songs as loud as you can. Sing the greatest duets of all time.

– Find an activity neither one of you are that good at and attempt it together. For instance, you could go roller, ice skating, kayaking, tandem biking, etc.

– Take out the old yearbooks/annuals. Go through and laugh at yourself. Your dress, hairstyle, etc. Categorize and rank them. Ugliest hairdo. Most gaudy dress.

– Sign up for a dance lesson. The dance instructor determines the level of fun. If he or she is super strict and serious, that gives less seasoned dancers something to laugh about. This date will force you out of your comfort zone.

– Spend one hour at an arcade. After you get over your anger at the price of games these days, try some of the physical games (dancing, basketball shooting, skeeball, strength games). You’ll get a laugh out of the competitive spirit that rise up in you.

Next plan a laugh date together! Please send us your ideas. You can just email us at: pdhud9@aol.com. We want to hear about your fun times!