When we do a workshop on “How to Pick a Partner,” based on Dr. Van Epp’s model, we talk about checking out a potential partner’s maturity level.
So when James Robert (Bob) Ross, Ph.D., LMFT and Adjunct Professor of Theology at Lincoln Christian University, presented his seminar recently on “Marriage Anchors,” our ears perked up when he said one of the anchors we need in marriage is maturity.
He went on to explain that the signs of maturity are:
- Ability to postpone personal gratification
- Ability to tolerate tension and frustration
- Ability to be compassionate and empathetic
- Ability to remain open and engaged; i.e., not withdrawing and not attacking our mate.
- Ability to give without asking anything in return
- Absence of a need for other’s validation. My identity does not depend upon my spouse (John 13:3-4).
These are pretty tall orders and it’s doubtful we will fulfill them all, all the time. But for those who are Christ-followers, Christ is our measure. “until we all attain. . .to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. . .” (Ephesians 4:13).
How are you doing on your journey to maturity?
(Note: To read more on Bob Ross’ concepts, we encourage you to order his book My Marriage Manual. It’s available on Amazon.com)
Grace and peace,
Penny and David Hudson