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March 2013 Newsletter
from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY) |
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| Greetings! |
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 At MERCY we believe every marriage can be enhanced and each one is worth trying to save. Our goal is that your marriage, and ours, will be better this year than the last.
We are so grateful for all those who have partnered with us in the past and continue to do so today. . .our faithful financial supporters, workshop presenters, mentors, Coupletime leaders, a new legal consultant and web site designer who have recently come onboard and others.
Over the past few months, however, we believe the Lord is asking MERCY to expand it’s vision and services. He has provided for this ministry in so many ways and we want to be faithful in continuing to serve in whatever areas we may be asked. We also know that we cannot to do this without additional help. So our plea this month is to ask you to pray and see if the Lord may be leading you to volunteer at MERCY. In this newsletter, we have listed some areas where we see a need and are praying the Lord will fill these positions with just the right people.
Grace and peace,
Penny and David Hudson
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| March’s Marriage Tip |
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Fellow marriage mentors, Carol and Dick Cronk, from Ohio, recently posted the following tip that we want to share with you.
Dick and Carol give this as a homework assignment to the couples they mentor. They tell us when they personally use this technique with one another, it seems to disarm their anger.
When a spouse’s spirit deflates during a conflict, often the
wife is feeling unloved and the husband is feeling disrespected.
This isn’t always the case, but according to Dr. Eggerich, it frequently is. Therefore, when a husband chooses to do or say something loving such as, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
Dick and Carol take this from Emerson Eggerich’s Love and Respect For a Lifetime
If you would like to attend a Love and Respect video conference, The Kentucky Marriage Movement will be hosting one May 3-4 at Lexington First Assembly of God, 2780 Clays Mill Road in Lexington, KY 40503. For additional information or to register, call (859) 255-5400 or go to: www.kentuckymarriage.org |
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| Volunteer Wish List for MERCY |
If you are interested in making a difference in marriages, we’d love for you to join this team. Here is a list of volunteer positions we’d love to have filled:
Date Night Coordinator
The idea of offering couples a date night keeps surfacing.
One of the things we see at MERCY is couples are starved for time to spend together. One particular venue being considered is offering couples/families free movie date nights. In fact, we were recently approached by someone who said we could even use their facilities to offer such events. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could offer couples/families wholesome movies free of charge, with perhaps free childcare? Or, offer other date night events for couples? If this speaks to your heart, will you please think about helping in this regard.
Public Relations Advocate
Attendance at our workshops has increased and we are so grateful more folks are taking advantage of them. But the more people we can reach the healthier marriages and relationships can be, and in turn, resulting in healthier families, churches, communities and beyond. We’d love to have someone who could call on churches/organizations to introduce MERCY to them, or to set up a booth at local events, etc.
Small-Group Marriage Leaders
In addition to our monthly workshops, we’d love to be able to offer couples some short-term (six-eight week) marriage studies. If you have experience in leading small groups and have a heart for enhancing relationships, please get in touch with us. We need you!
Mentoring Couples
This spring MERCY will be offering training in the PREPARE/ENRICH program. We strive to train Christian, top-notch couples who have been married over ten years to work directly with couples. If this sounds like something you and your spouse would like to be involved in, will you please give us a call? Trust us, you will be the one who is blessed.
Crisis Mentoring
Have you been through some struggles in your mariage, yet with the Lord’s help, have found healing? If so, you just might be someone who could walk along another who may be in crisis. If you might be willing to be a support partner to a fellow struggler, we would love to hear from you. Coaching in this area on how to do this is available.
Workshop Coordinator
In the event David nor I could be at one of the workshop events, would you be willing to coordinate details with the hospital, our presenters, bring snacks (which MERCY would reimburse you for), introduce and close the sessions, etc.?
Prayer Warriors
Would you be willing to pray for this ministry, with others perhaps you meet with in your small group or ones you recruit, for one month? We’d like to ask for monthly sign-ups beginning in April 2013. We want this ministry constantly bathed in prayer.
If you would be willing to volunteer in any of these areas, click here to fill out our volunteer survey.
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| Accepting Our Differences |
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 We want to say a special thank you to Irene Justiniano for leading our workshop last month on “How to Identify, Accept and Value Our Personality Differences.”
We had a great turnout and want to thank everyone who attended. Based on the evaluations, everyone walked away with some very practical helps.
As a tie-in to last month’s topic, I dusted off an article written several years ago called “Accepting Our Differences,” that I hope you will find useful.
“In our bottom-line, results-oriented society, we often link our self-worth to our performance. But within each of us is a yearning to be accepted for whom we are rather than what we do or how well we perform.
“Unfortunately, many couples spend their lifetime trying to change their spouse into a carbon copy of themselves or into a preconceived idea of whom they want their partner to be. Most of us, however, have a hard time accepting the simple fact people are different. We have different personalities, expectations, feelings and desires. We see life differently.
“When I go to the beach I’m in awe. Surging waves, the smell of saltwater, the warmth of the sun, makes me want to stay a lifetime. For someone else, the experience may be quite different. When that person goes to the beach, all he may see is a bunch of seaweed and hot sand that does nothing except make him perspire.
“David Kirsey and Marilyn Bates open their book, Please Understand Me, with these comments:
” ‘ If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me my want is wrong.’ ‘Or, if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.’ ‘Or, if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly. . .’ “
Is accepting our differences easy? No. Loving? Yes.
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| Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center |
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 If you are looking for a great retreat center, a place for a wedding/wedding reception, family reunion or any other type of group event, we recommend you check out The Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center.
Kavanaugh is a retreat and conference center of the Kentucky Conference. It was founded by Bishop H. H. Kavanaugh who had a dream to carve out a piece of God’s creation and maintain it as a place for ministry and renewal.
Kavanaugh offers an environment for experiencing the love, grace and guidance of God. For a tour or to plan a group retreat contact:
Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center
7505 Kavanaugh Road
Crestwood, KY 40014
Phone: 502-241-9091
www.campkavanaugh.com
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| Marriage Enrichment Opportunities |
Talk that Wrecks Relationships – Next Workshop at MERCY
Have you ever felt like the person you love the most has the ability to make you fantastically happy, but can also send you to the pit of unhappiness? That’s because certain things we do and say have intense power to destroy the closeness we feel to a mate. The ability to stop, think and be sensitive to what we are saying leads to closeness and emotional connection.
This workshop will identify three dialogues that can serve as relationship wrecking balls. Join us as we learn how to recognize our own needs for emotional connection and how to help others feel connected to us.
April 20, 2013 – 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
Baptist Hospital East
2nd Floor – By Cafeteria Seating Area
4000 Kresge Way, Louisville, KY 40207
Workshop Leader – Sharon Shapanus – LCSW/LMFT
There is no charge for the workshop, however, donations are always appreciated.
 The LOVE WORTH FIGHTING FOR tour features actor, writer and evangelist Kirk Cameron and singer/songwriter Warren Barfield (“Love is Not A Fight” from the FIREPROOF movie starring Kirk Cameron). The event features teaching by Kirk Cameron and music by Warren Barfield, designed to strengthen and enourage your marriage.
Sunday, April 21
4- 7:30 p.m.
(Doors open at 3:00 p.m.)
Valley View Baptist Church
8911 Third Street Road
Louisville, KY 40272
Cost:
VIP tickets – $35
General Admission – $22.50
General Admission Group of 10 or more – $20
Play Date with Your Mate
Strengthen your communication and grow together as a married couple through purposeful interaction and fun activities utilizing Life Adventure Center’s various programs. Special events are held throughout the year. For additional information, call: (859) 873-3271 or visit:
www.lifeadventurecenter.org
Kenn Kington Coming to Crestwood Baptist Church – May 17
You don’t want to miss this event featuring professional comedian, Kenn Kington. This is a date night for all couples and open to the public. It’s an evening that provides laughter, fun and enjoyment for couples of all ages. While there will be plenty of humor (let’s face it, relationships can be funny), couples will also walk away with plenty of tools to grow a strong and lasting marriage. Check this guy out at:
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| Couples in Crisis |
Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you fight constantly or hardly speak? Do you prefer to spend more time away from each other than with one another? Are you on the brink of divorce? Do you feel trapped, misunderstood, taken for granted, or angry all the time? Often when couples find themselves at these type of junctures, they think there is no other choice than to get a divorce, but before you take that step, we pray you will first seek serious help. Do it for yourself, your spouse, your children, your health, and to avoid repeating the past. We understand that not all marriages can be saved, but please do all you can before you take that final step.
There are many resources/programs/professional helps that can literally change the course of your relationship. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? For us, it certainly was and for countless others we have witnessed, it was as well.
One such program that’s coming up the weekend of April 5th is Retrouvaille in Cincinnati, Ohio. Others where couples have found healing is: “A New Beginning,” “The National Institute of Marriage
Intensives,” “Marriage Restored,” “Re-generation,” “Save My Marriage,” “Marriage 911 First Response,” plus a host of helps for those who are struggling with sexual addictions or infidelity. In addition, we can direct you to professional counselors who care about your marriage and will help you work through your difficulties. Or, if you would like to talk with a mentor, who has also been through some struggles and would be willing to walk along side you, please know they are available. Links to all of these programs,
mentioned above, are on our web site and we encourage you to check them out. Following is the link:
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“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Mark 3:25
Our prayer is that you will allow the Lord to reunite your house and your hearts.
Sincerely,
Penny and David Hudson
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