April 2013 Newsletter

• On May 17, we are working with Crestwood Baptist Church to bring you a fun date night.  You won’t want to miss this. Kenn Kington, professional comedian, promises it will be the greatest date since your honeymoon!  See details below.

• And speaking of date nights, more are on the way.  We now have a “Date Night Coordinator” and she is hard at work planning some fantastic date night ideas. In the meantime, we want to encourage you to take the “Date Night Challenge for May.” Check it out below.   Thank you Julia for agreeing to take on this task!

• MERCY will soon have a new web site!  We can’t thank John Baker enough for stepping forward and volunteering to redesign a new web site for us. John is with The Charis Group.  The Charis Group provides e-Presence development and operational coaching for ministries, not-for-profits and sole proprietors. If you would like to discuss how The Charis Group can assist you in your effort, email John at:  WebServant@TheCharisGroup.com

These are just a few of the things that are happening and we hope you will stay tuned as more things unfold.  Thank you for your faithfulness to this ministry.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David Hudson

Kenn Kington, professional comedian,

is coming live to Crestwood Baptist Church Friday, May 17 at 7:00 p.m.

If you’d like a fun date night where you will laugh a lot, learn a little and eat great desserts, you don’t want to miss this event.

Tickets are $15 per person in advance; $20 per person at the door.

For tickets or additional information go to:

www.crestwoodbaptist.org or call (241-8534).

To know more about Kenn, go to www.kennkington.com

Invite some friends and come join us!  You’ll have a blast!  Kenn says, it will be the best date since your

honeymoon.

April Marriage Tip –

Are You Assertive Enough in Your Relationship?

How easy is it for you to express your feelings and ask for what you want in a relationship?

When we work with couples, this is often an area that needs work.  One spouse has these hidden expectations and when they aren’t fulfilled, he/she is frustrated, disappointed or just down right mad.   They think, “If he/she really loved me they would (fill in the blank), yet this person may never have told their spouse what he/she wanted, needed or expected.  They may be hinting or hoping but not really saying it.  For example:

Perhaps Joe wants to go fishing with his buddies this weekend.  So he says to Susie, his wife, something like, “The guys are going fishing this weekend.”

He is hoping Susie will say, “Well, why don’t you go with them?”

And when she doesn’t, he is disappointed.

Instead, he needs to be more direct – in a nice way.

“I’d really like to go fishing with the guys this weekend.

How would you feel about that?”

So the next time you are feeling frustrated because your needs, wants or expectations are not being met, ask yourself if you are being assertive enough in your relationship.

Your Date Night Challenge –

(Take the Challenge and You Might

Win a Prize!)

Dating your spouse is one of the most important things you can do to preserve your marriage.  Somehow once the vows have been said, children come along, work piles up “date nights” take a back seat to all the other obligations.  Then, our marriages often become predictable, boring and dull.  Not a good thing.  In fact, the experts tell us boredom in marriage may be worse than conflict. Dating can be the building block to a better relationship.  It gives couples a break from parenthood, injects some excitement, becomes a channel to express our love, collect memories and allows us to get reacquainted.

Reacquainted?  Think you know everything about your spouse? Answer the questions below and see.  We would also like to give you our “May Date Night Challenge.”  Go ahead.  Take it.  Plan an adventure together.  Send in your ideas.  We want to hear about your adventure. For the couple who comes up with the best “date night” adventure, and can send us a picture, they will receive two tickets to the Louisville Bats game.

But first, let’s see how well you know your spouse in the adventure department.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous is our life together?
2. Would you call me adventurous?
3. What is the last totally spontaneous thing we’ve done together?
4. What do you think of when you think of adventure?
5. Do I have any adventures personally that you feel get in the way of us as a couple (e.g., hunting, shopping, golf, watching sports, etc.)?
6. As your spouse, how can I help you be more adventurous?
7. The biggest barrier to adventure in our marriage is __________________.
8. Some creative ways to work around or overcome that barrier include __________.
9. When it comes to adventure in our marriage, I feel most loved when you__________.
10. Did you ever see your parents being adventurous?

A great big thank you to Julia for coming up with this Date Night Challenge!

It’s evident that most of us will be touched by a friend or relative who is going through a divorce.  What we say, or don’t say may alter that person’s life forever.  So how should we respond?

Let Your Friend Do The Talking

Allowing your friend to articulate what’s felt will help her sort out her situation.  But listening requires your undivided attention and accepting what’s said, even when you don’t agree.

Don’t deny or squelch your friend’s feelings.  If she says, “I don’t feel like Jim really loves me anymore and I have nothing left to give,” refrain from saying, “You shouldn’t feel like that.”  But be wary of saying you understand when you can’t.  Everyone’s pain is different.

Express Support 

Display a loving, caring attitude by letting your friend know you are honored by, and will honor, her disclosure to you.  Don’t assure her things will get better if she just gives it time.

Maintain Neutrality

It’s important to avoid showing favoritism or taking sides, especially when you are friends with the husband and wife.  Also avoid becoming the confidante to the friend of the opposite sex.  Most people who are going through marital issues desperately need someone who will sympathize and understand, and the emotional attraction can be powerful.

Encourage Your Friend to Seek Help 

There’s no shame in having marital problems.  Strongly recommend the help of a professional/pastoral counselor, mentor or a program such as Retrouvaille, New Beginnings or The National Institute of Marriage.  Links to all these programs are listed on our web site www.kymrc.com and we have a list of professional counselors we can recommend.

Be Sensitive to Your Marriage

Trying to help someone who is having marital difficulties can sometimes show what a great marriage you have. On the other hand, it can open a door for you to become critical and negative toward your spouse.  Don’t allow negative feelings to spill into your relationship.

When involved with the unraveling of a marriage, although you cannot take away or make decisions for the couple, you can be that instrument God uses to express His love and care.

The loss of a loved one in a family, impacts the dynamics of a marital relationship.  Therefore, we wanted to make you aware of a new 6-week facilitated workshop on grief for those who are struggling and coping with the loss of a loved one.

May 6 – June 10

Immaculate Conception Church

502 N. 5th Avenue

LaGrange, KY  40031

11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.

The workshop is open to all and gives people the opportunity to share their grief, learn positive coping skills and learn a way to create a “new normal” that honors their loved one.  For additional information or to register, please call:  Marilyn Geist at (502)  548-8060 or Sharon Clark (502)  241-2945.  There is no cost for the workshop.