March 2013 Newsletter

March 2013 Newsletter from MERCY

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
March 2013 Newsletter
from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
Greetings!

At MERCY we believe every marriage can be enhanced and each one is worth trying to save. Our goal is that your marriage, and ours, will be better this year than the last.

We are so grateful for all those who have partnered with us in the past and continue to do so today. . .our faithful financial supporters, workshop presenters, mentors, Coupletime leaders, a new legal consultant and web site designer who have recently come onboard and others.

Over the past few months, however, we believe the Lord is asking MERCY to expand it’s vision and services.  He has provided for this ministry in so many ways and we want to be faithful in continuing to serve in whatever areas we may be asked.  We also know that we cannot to do this without additional help.  So our plea this month is to ask you to pray and see if the Lord may be leading you to volunteer at MERCY. In this newsletter, we have listed some areas where we see a need and are praying the Lord will fill these positions with just the right people.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David Hudson

March’s Marriage Tip

 

Fellow marriage mentors, Carol and Dick Cronk, from Ohio, recently posted the following tip that we want to share with you.
Dick and Carol give this as a homework assignment to the couples they mentor.  They tell us when they personally use this technique with one another, it seems to disarm their anger.
When a spouse’s spirit deflates during a conflict, often the
wife is feeling unloved and the husband is feeling disrespected.
This isn’t always the case, but according to Dr. Eggerich, it frequently is.  Therefore, when a husband chooses to do or say something loving such as, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way’ he energizes his wife.  When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
Dick and Carol take this from Emerson Eggerich’s Love and Respect For a Lifetime
If you would like to attend a Love and Respect video conference, The Kentucky Marriage Movement will be hosting one May 3-4 at Lexington First Assembly of God, 2780 Clays Mill Road in Lexington, KY  40503.  For additional information or to register, call (859) 255-5400 or go to: www.kentuckymarriage.org

In This Issue
March’s Marriage Tip
Volunteer Wish List
Accepting Our Differences
Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center
Upcoming Marriage Enrichment Opportunities
Couples in Crisis
Join Our Mailing List!

 Volunteer Wish List for MERCY 
marriage rocks

If you are interested in making a difference in marriages, we’d love for you to join this team.  Here is a list of volunteer positions we’d love to have filled:
Date Night Coordinator

The idea of offering couples a date night keeps surfacing.

One of the things we see at MERCY is couples are starved for time to spend together. One particular venue being considered is offering couples/families free movie date nights.  In fact, we were recently approached by someone who said we could even use their facilities to offer such events. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could offer couples/families wholesome movies free of charge, with perhaps free childcare?  Or, offer other date night events for couples? If this speaks to your heart, will you please think about helping in this regard.
Public Relations Advocate
Attendance at our workshops has increased and we are so grateful more folks are taking advantage of them.  But the more people we can reach the healthier marriages and relationships can be, and in turn, resulting in healthier families, churches, communities and beyond.  We’d  love to have someone who could call on churches/organizations to introduce MERCY to them, or to set up a booth at local events, etc.
Small-Group Marriage Leaders
In addition to our monthly workshops, we’d love to be able to offer couples some short-term (six-eight week) marriage studies.  If you have experience in leading small groups and have a heart for enhancing relationships, please get in touch with us.  We need you!
Mentoring Couples
This spring MERCY will be offering training in the PREPARE/ENRICH program.  We strive to train Christian, top-notch couples who have been married over ten years to work directly with couples. If this sounds like something you and your spouse would like to be involved in, will you please give us a call?  Trust us, you will be the one who is blessed.
Crisis Mentoring
Have you been through some struggles in your mariage, yet with the Lord’s help, have found healing?  If so, you just might be someone who could walk along another who may be in crisis.  If  you might be willing to be a support partner to a fellow struggler, we would love to hear from you. Coaching in this area on how to do this is available.
Workshop Coordinator
In the event David nor I could be at one of the workshop events, would you be willing to coordinate details with the hospital, our presenters, bring snacks (which MERCY would reimburse you for), introduce and close the sessions, etc.?
Prayer Warriors 
Would you be willing to pray for this ministry, with others perhaps you meet with in your small group or ones you recruit, for one month?  We’d like to ask for monthly sign-ups beginning in April 2013.  We want this ministry constantly bathed in prayer.
If you would be willing to volunteer in any of these areas, click here to fill out our volunteer survey.

 

Accepting Our Differences

forgiveness We want to say a special thank you to Irene Justiniano for leading our workshop last month on “How to Identify, Accept and Value Our Personality Differences.”

We had a great turnout and want to thank everyone who attended.  Based on the evaluations, everyone walked away with some very practical helps.

As a tie-in to last month’s topic, I dusted off an article written several years ago called “Accepting Our Differences,” that I hope you will find useful.

“In our bottom-line, results-oriented society, we often link our self-worth to our performance.  But within each of us is a yearning to be accepted for whom we are rather than what we do or how well we perform.

 

“Unfortunately, many couples spend their lifetime trying to change their spouse into a carbon copy of themselves or into a preconceived idea of whom they want their partner to be.  Most of us, however, have a hard time accepting the simple fact people are different.  We have different personalities, expectations, feelings and desires. We see life differently.

 

“When I go to the beach I’m in awe.  Surging waves, the smell of saltwater, the warmth of the sun, makes me want to stay a lifetime.  For someone else, the experience may be quite different.  When that person goes to the beach, all he may see is a bunch of seaweed and hot sand that does nothing except make him perspire.

 

“David Kirsey and Marilyn Bates open their book, Please Understand Me, with these comments:

 

” ‘ If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me my want is wrong.’  ‘Or, if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.’  ‘Or, if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly. . .’ “

 

Is accepting our differences easy?  No.  Loving?  Yes.

Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center

Kavanaugh  If you are looking for a great retreat center, a place for a wedding/wedding reception, family reunion or any other type of group event, we recommend you check out The Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center.

Kavanaugh is a retreat and conference center of the Kentucky Conference.  It was founded by Bishop H. H. Kavanaugh who had a dream to carve out a piece of God’s creation and maintain it as a place for ministry and renewal.

Kavanaugh offers an environment for experiencing the love, grace and guidance of God.  For a tour or to plan a group retreat contact:

Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center

7505 Kavanaugh Road

Crestwood, KY  40014

Phone:  502-241-9091

www.campkavanaugh.com

 Marriage Enrichment Opportunities 
worried couple 

Talk that Wrecks Relationships – Next Workshop at MERCY
Have you ever felt like the person you love the most has the ability to make you fantastically happy, but can also send you to the pit of unhappiness? That’s because certain things we do and say have intense power to destroy the closeness we feel to a mate.  The ability to stop, think and be sensitive to what we are saying leads to closeness and emotional connection.
This workshop will identify three dialogues that can serve as relationship wrecking balls.  Join us as we learn how to recognize our own needs for emotional connection and how to help others feel connected to us.
April 20, 2013  –  9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
Baptist Hospital East
2nd Floor – By Cafeteria Seating Area
4000 Kresge Way, Louisville, KY  40207
Workshop Leader – Sharon Shapanus – LCSW/LMFT
There is no charge for the workshop, however, donations are always appreciated.
Registration is requested, but not required.  To pre-register, call (502)  939-0121; email: pdhud9@aol.com or visit:  www.kymrc.com
    The LOVE WORTH FIGHTING FOR tour features actor, writer and evangelist Kirk Cameron and singer/songwriter Warren Barfield (“Love is Not A Fight” from the FIREPROOF movie starring Kirk Cameron).  The event features teaching by Kirk Cameron and music by Warren Barfield, designed to strengthen and enourage your marriage.
Sunday, April 21
4- 7:30 p.m.
(Doors open at 3:00 p.m.)
Valley View Baptist Church
8911 Third Street Road
Louisville, KY  40272
Cost:
VIP tickets – $35
General Admission – $22.50
General Admission Group of 10 or more – $20
For additional information or to purchase tickets. go to:  www.itickets.com/tours/877.html
play date birds

Play Date with Your Mate

 

Strengthen your communication and grow together as a married couple through purposeful interaction and fun activities utilizing Life Adventure Center’s various programs. Special events are held throughout the year.  For additional information, call:  (859) 873-3271 or visit:

www.lifeadventurecenter.org

Kenn Kington

Kenn Kington Coming to Crestwood Baptist Church – May 17
You don’t want to miss this event featuring professional comedian, Kenn Kington.  This is a date night for all couples and open to the public.  It’s an evening that provides laughter, fun and enjoyment for couples of all ages.  While there will be plenty of humor (let’s face it, relationships can be funny), couples will also walk away with plenty of tools to grow a strong and lasting marriage. Check this guy out at:
http://www.kennkington.com and get your tickets now at www.crestwoodbaptist.org. Cost is only $15 per person.

Couples in Crisis

Are you struggling in your marriage?  Do you fight constantly or hardly speak? Do you prefer to spend more time away from each other than with one another?  Are you on the brink of divorce?  Do you feel trapped, misunderstood, taken for granted, or angry all the time?  Often when couples find themselves at these type of junctures, they think there is no other choice than to get a divorce, but before you take that step, we pray you will first seek serious help.  Do it for yourself, your spouse, your children, your health, and to avoid repeating the past. We understand that not all marriages can be saved, but please do all you can before you take that final step.
There are many resources/programs/professional helps that can literally change the course of your relationship. Is it easy?  No.  Is it worth it?  For us, it certainly was and for countless others we have witnessed, it was as well.
One such program that’s coming up the weekend of April 5th is Retrouvaille in Cincinnati, Ohio. Others where couples have found healing is:  “A New Beginning,”  “The National Institute of Marriage
Intensives,”  “Marriage Restored,” “Re-generation,”  “Save My Marriage,” “Marriage 911 First Response,” plus a host of helps for those who are struggling with sexual addictions or infidelity. In addition, we can direct you to professional counselors who care about your marriage and will help you work through your difficulties.  Or, if you would like to talk with a mentor, who has also been through some struggles and would be willing to walk along side you, please know they are available.  Links to all of these programs,
mentioned above, are on our web site and we encourage you to check them out.   Following is the link:

 

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Mark 3:25
Our prayer is that you will allow the Lord to reunite your house and your hearts.
Sincerely,
Penny and David Hudson

Welcome to MERCY’s New Website!

On behalf of David & Penny (leaders of this ministry) I would like to welcome you to MERCY’s new website!

dancing

In the near future we are going to auto-forward our other domain names (KYMRC.com and MarriageEducationandResourceCenterKY.com) to this new place on the web.

This website development effort is “live” … we are being real and exposing our flaws upfront … as we continue to create a site which is likewise real and to the point of meeting need with ministry.

I look forward to my association with MERCY, and with Dave & Penny.

My hope is that you find our efforts together to be a help as we encourage you in your marriage – in whatever situation you find yourself.

John Baker
MERCY’s WebServant
The Charis Group

John & Brenda Baker
John & Brenda Baker
David & Penny Hudson
David & Penny Hudson

February 2013 Newsletter

February 2013 Newsletter from MERCY

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
February 2013 Newsletter From The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
Greetings!
different personality couple

He was funny. She was serious. She was disorganized.  He was orderly and everything was in its place.  “Just leave the dishes until the morning,” she thought.  He, on the other hand, had to have everything put away before bed. She was high-strung and argumentative. He was the even-tempered peacemaker.  
In the beginning, their differences attracted them to one another.  After a while, what attracted them, began to drive them crazy.  As a result, they began to attack one another because of these differences.
We each think our way is the best way and when we don’t agree
then naturally they need to change.  But we need to value our differences.  God has given each of us freedom to choose and in turn, we need to give each other the freedom to be different. It doesn’t mean we will always like the other person’s behavior or response, but it gives us an opportunity to minister to our mate, develop understanding and adjust our attitudes.
All of us have strengths and weaknesses in our personalities and lifestyle patterns. When we can stop focusing on the negatives the differences cause and instead how they can be strengths, then there will be a lot more harmony in our relationships.
In our upcoming workshop, we will be talking more about personality differences.  Won’t you join us?  See additional
details below.
Grace and peace,
Penny and David Hudson

 

February’s Marriage Tip – Give up the need to be right!

“Give up the need to be right or fix our loved ones so they are telling the story ‘right’ or doing a chore just the way it’s suppose to be done,or stating a fact accurately, or using correct grammar.”
In Richard Carlson’s book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,  he says, “A wonderful, heartfelt strategy for becoming more peaceful and loving is to practice allowing others to be right.  Give them the glory.  Stop correcting.  Let others be ‘right’ most of the time.”
Bea and Jim Strickland
Silicon Valley Better Marriages

In This Issue
February’s Marriage Tip
He Led a Double Life
Equipping Wives and Mothers
Can You Have a Half Brother?
Tearing Down Illusions in Marriage Workshop
How to Identify, Accept and Value our Personality Differences
Kentucky Marriage Movements Upcoming Events
Retrouvaille
Save the Date – May 17
Join Our Mailing List!

He Led a Double Life by Mary May Larmoyeux
 

Scott Jennings never dreamed he would cross the line. but somehow it happened.

 

He was unhappy at home.  He loved Sherry, but . . .well, she was the boss at her work, and she acted like the boss at home.  When things needed to be done, she would tell Scott what to do. And he got tired of it.

 

He wasn’t one to talk about his emotions.  So he turned inward.  He would escape to the fire station- where he was a volunteer fire fighter – and start drinking.

 

Things go worse after the Jennings’ son, Steven, was born in 1995.  Sherry wanted to be a supermom and Scott  was happy to let her do it. Soon he avoided being around Sherry and Steven altogether.  If Sherry went to bed early with Steven, Scott stayed up late and watched TV.

 

He often pretended that a call had come in from the volunteer fire department, but when he left the house he would head to a local bar instead.  That’s where he became friends with people who seemed to really understand him.

 

Scott also turned to a woman at work for a listening ear.  Eventually they went to a motel together. He never thought he would be the type of person to cheat on his wife.  But he did.

 

He had stepped into a world of repeated lies, affairs, and deceit.  Scott Jennings was living a double life.

 

This is an excerpt from an article that was on Family Life’s web site.  To read the rest of the story,

 

The Lord is still in the miracle business and using programs like “Weekend to Remember” to make a difference.
In the event you or someone you know could benefit from attending a “Weekend to Remember” there will be one at the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza, 35 W. 5th Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202 on March 8-10, 2013. Whether your marriage, is good, great or in need of help, we think you will benefit from this program.
For additional information, you can go to:  http://www.familylife.com/events/featured-events/weekend-to-remember or call 1-800-358-6329.  Or, if you register through our group name:  MERCY, you can get a discount on the registration fee.  Go to our web site at: www.kymrc.com, and click on the link “Upcoming Events/Help for Couples”  and scroll down until you get to “Weekend to Remember.”

Equipping Wives and Mothers

We love it when we come across new resources to share.  In this quarter’s magazine Marriage there was an article called “16 Ways to Flirt With Your Husband” by Sheila Wray Gregoire. Her passion is to equip women to be the best wives and mothers they can be and especially to cultivate marriages that are rock solid.
Shelia blogs daily at:

We’d encourage you to check it out.

Can You Have a Half Brother?  A Must-Read for All Blended Families

On Shelia Wray Gregoire’s recent blog, she had a guest columnist, Joanne Kraft, who had written an article entitled Can You Have a Half Brother?  It’s about blended families and we found it powerful. I want to share with you her opening and then, if you’d like to read the rest of the story go to:  http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/02/can-you-have-half-a-brother/

While speaking at a women’s conference an adorable young mom came up and introduced herself to me. It wasn’t long before we were talking about our family. I asked, “How many children do you have?”

“Three.” She smiled. “My nine year old son is from my husband’s first marriage. Our seven year old and five year old daughters are our biological children.”

I wanted to cry. This sweet gal, without knowing, it had touched a tender spot in me. It happens quite often, actually. If I owned a soap box, I’d climb high above the crowd to shout about labeling children in a blended family. While it was great she called her “un” biological child her son, she set him apart from the rest of the family and told me he was different.

Why does this pain me so?

Because our family is blended. We come from broken beginnings.

According to national statistics, 48% of all families will end in divorce. From that number, 79% of the adults will remarry two and even three times. There are 35 million Americans in the US today who are remarried. There are an additional 36 million Americans who are divorced or widowed. (US Census, 2007) 1 out of 3 Americans is now a stepparent, a stepchild, a stepsibling, or some other member of a stepfamily -a mismatched, disjointed motley crew of people trying very hard to be a family.

Tearing Down Illusions In Our Marriage – With Kingdom Knotted Ministries
blame game

At this workshop you will be exploring your inner expectations of self, partner, and of those who influence one’s marriages (family, friends, career) in this six session series. 

 

What did I see marriage as prior to our wedding? What is marriage like now? Do my previous expectations meet my current lifestyle? Am I satisfied? Or do I feel disillusioned? 

 

February 27, 2013 at 6:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.

Free Public Library (Iroquois Branch; 601 West Woodlawn Avenue, Louisville, Kentucky, 40215) Located in the Lower Level.

 

For additional information, go to www.kingdomknotted.com

 

 

How to Identify, Accept and Value our Personality Differences Using the Real Colors Program

While there are no magic bullets for ensuring meaningful and lasting relationships, there are a number of lenses through which a clearer picture of potentially positive relationships can be developed. Real Colors, the program this workshop is based on, is a simple, intuitive system for identifying the four temperaments common to all people.

 

It provides an effective tool for understanding human behavior, for uncovering motivators specific to each temperament and for improving communication skills. Join us to learn more about Real Colors and how to use in your interactions with your loved ones.

 

March 9, from 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.

2nd Floor Conference Room 

Baptist Hospital Northeast

1025 New Moody Lane

 

 

Irene Justiniano, Business Consultant with Humana, will be our presenter. 

We’re looking forward to Irene being with us.

 

There is no charge for the workshop, however, donations are always appreciated. Registration is requested, but not required. To pre-register, call (502) 939-0121; email: pdhud9@aol.com

 

Kentucky Marriage Movements Upcoming Events
Laugh your way The Kentucky Marriage Movement will be offering the following marriage events in March:

Art of Marriage Video Conference
March 8-9 – Catalyst Christian Church, Nicholsville, KY
March 15-16 – Woodford Community Church, Versailles, KY
Love and Respect Video Conference
March 22-23 – Broadway Christian Church, Lexington, KY
 
These conferences are Fridays from 6:00 – 10:00 p.m.  and Saturdays from 8:00 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.
Cost:  $15 per person; $30  per couple
For additional information or to register, go to:  www.kentuckymarriage.org or call:  859-255-5400. and
Note to Pastors/Marriage Church Leaders:  If you would like to bring one of these conferences (Art of Marriage, Love and Respect or Love and Lordship ‘Live’ Marriage event, which is in the works,) to your congregation, please get in touch with Greg Williams with The Kentucky Marriage Movement at 859-255-5400 or email him at:  greg@kentuckyfamily.org

Retrouvaille  – A Lifeline for Troubled Marriages
Retrouvaille

If you are struggling in your marriage, please consider going to Retrouvaille. We have heard testimony after testimony of couples who were on the brink of divorce who went to this program and it saved their marriage.
The next nearest one in our area is scheduled for the weekend of April 5, 2013 in Cincinnati, Ohio.  
For additional information on Retrouvaille please go to www.retrouvaille.org or to register for this event, call Mike and Cathy McNamee at 513-456-5413.

 

Save the Date – Ultimate Date Night with Kenn Kington
Kenn Kington

You will want to be with us at Crestwood Baptist Church on May 17 for an
Ultimate Date Night with Comedian Kenn Kington.  So mark your calendars today and pass the word along to your friends.
For some additional information/clips on Kenn, go to: www.kennkington.com
More details will be coming soon.

 

These are just some of the events and helps that are available.  Please check out our web site for additional marriage programs, helps and resources at www.kymrc.com  Or, if you have any suggestions, comments, questions, or we can personally help you in any way, please give us a call at (502)  939-0121 or email us:  pdhud9@aol.com  We’d love to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Penny and David Hudson
The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)