October 2013 Newsletter

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
                October 2013 Newsletter From The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
tranquil-lake.jpg

When we started MERCY, one of our desires and prayers was to be an instrument to direct people to the resources they may need to help strengthen, enhance or even save some marriages.  We knew there were so many helps available yet so many people weren’t aware of them.  If we could just be that link we would be forever grateful.  The Lord can do so much with our feeble efforts. He has done more than we could have imagined.  Here are just a few emails we’ve received in the past few weeks:
  
“MERCY has been an instrumental tool in the resurrection of our marriage.  My wife and I were scared and out of answers.  We just didn’t have the tools necessary to understand each other’s attempts at keeping our marriage together. We started attending MERCY;s workshops out of a deep desire to save our marriage, and it was the best choice we could have made.  MERCY has given us tools that we have utilized over time to both enhance the quality of our marriage, and to strengthen our commitment to the same through the eyes of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  We went from simply attending out of necessity, to a point where we look forward each month to learning new marriage enhancement skills and meeting new people.  No amount of thanks can express the amount of gratitude we feel for the gift of love that MERCY has shown us.  We both thank you very much.” 
– Yours in Christ
  
  
“I’m sure I’m speaking on behalf of other couples as well, but words cannot express what an impact MERCY has on making differences in marriages.  I would have never heard about any of these programs/workshops/etc. had I not discovered MERCY.”
  
  
“. . .The Lord has given us both a fresh perspective and renewed heart for this relationship.”
  
Thank you Lord.  Thanks to each of you for blessing us in so many ways.
  
Grace and peace,
  
Penny and David Hudson
  
  

   Marriage Tip                   
           

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
–  Henry Winkler

        

  
 
            HOME RUN
           

A great group turned out to see HOME RUN, the movie.  The feedback was so positive we hope to be able to bring you additional movies in the future.
  
  

  Next Date Night Coming This Winter

 

 

Julia, our Date Night Coordinator, is planning another fun night for couples with MERCY’s first Couple’s Chili Cook Off this winter!  More details coming soon!  Will you be the one who win’s the golden ladle?
           

  
 
            Ten-City Tour by the Family Foundation

We would like to give a big shout out to the Kentucky Family Foundation on their unprecedented Kentucky Ten City Marriage Tour.  It invited hundreds of pastors from all denominations to attend 10 briefings, with Mike McManus from Marriage Savers,  on creating Community Marriage Policies in their areas.  It’s proven that churches that take this step experience a dramatic drop in the divorce rate. 
  
With Kentucky having the third highest divorce rate in 2011 among the 50 states, this is certainly something that is desperately needed. It’s our prayer more churches will become passionate about marriage ministry.
  
If you are a pastor, or are passionate about marriage, and did not get an opportunity to attend one of these briefings, we would suggest you get in touch with Greg Williams with the Kentucky Marriage Movement.  His email is:   gdubya31@yahoo.com or you can call the Family Foundation at:  1-859-255-5400.

  
 
kissing-couple.jpg             Put a Little Warmth in Your Marriage
           

The days are getting cooler and it’s almost sweater-weather.  Ever wish you could generate an extra layer of warmth in your marriage?  If so, try on a few of these ideas and see if things get a little cozier.
  

Re-establish something you used to do enjoy

Turn back the pages of your marriage for a few moments and think  about where your love began.  What were you doing? Why was it enjoyable and exciting?  What mutual interests do you share? Granted, circumstances change and an activity you both used to enjoy may no longer appeal to you.  If this is the case, try to establish something new you could enjoy together. 

 

Call, text, email one another daily

Small gestures can often revamp a marriage.  One lady said, “It’s knowing he’s thinking of me; that I’m important enough for him to take time out of his busy schedule.  He may say nothing more than, ‘Hey, just wanted to see how your day was going?” 

 

Share a journal

I recently read about a couple who share a journal.  Since their schedules seldom meshed, their journal was a romantic meeting place for them.  They left it open on the nightstand for the other to read and respond.  By jotting down a thought here, a feeling there, they could share in one another’s world.

 

Compliment your spouse in front of others

Few things please us as much as having someone say something nice about us in front of others. 

 

Show an interest in a spouse’s interest

When couples are dating, each will not hesitate to join in those activities that are important to the spouse-to-be, but once we marry, things change.  Often we begin to pursue our own interests.  In Willard Harley’s book His Needs/Her Needs, he points out the importance of being recreational companions.  He says, “The couple that plays together, stays together.”

 

Begin a new habit

How good are your listening skills?  Are you willing to hear what your spouse has to say without interrupting or straightening him out?  Have goodnight kisses been replaced with snores?  Whatever happened to holding hands?  how generous are you with hugs?  Are you as dependable as you used to be?  How are you doing in the areas of patience, kindness and self-control?

 

Is there a behavior, a new habit you can adopt, or an old one you can let go of that could enhance your relationship?

  

Perhaps if we complained less and blessed more we would see a huge difference.  If you put one of these in place, we’d love to hear about your results.           

  
  
 

 

 

 Upcoming Marriage Events and Family Opportunties

 

 

 

                                    The Art of Marriage

art of marriage The Art of Marriage event consists of video sessions  that  combine dramatic stories, real-life testimonies, expert interviews, humorous vignettes and other teaching methods to lay out God’s design for marriage in a fresh, engaging way. 

  October 18-19          

 

  Okolona Christian Church
  10801 Faithful Way
                                        Louisville, KY  40229
  
For additional information:  Call (502)  962-6500
  
  
 kissing coupleGrowing In Love

 Most of us enter marriage by the way of the “in love” experience.  At

 it’s peak, the “in love” experience is euphoric.  We have been led
 to believe that if we are really “in love,” it will last forever.  Over time, 
 the “in love” feelings begin to fade and we may begin to ask, “Did
 we have the real thing?”  Dr. Chapman says if we do not
 understand this “in love” experience, it can lead to divorce. 
  
David and I are excited to be offering a workshop on this topic:
  
Saturday, October 19 – 7:00 – 8:00 p.m.
  
Henry Christian Church
136 Castle Highway
Eminence, KY  40019
  
If you have not gone through this workshop, they invite you to join us.
  
  
elbow-children-line.jpgPlaying the Night Away – Kid’s Night Out at Oldham County Family YMCA
  
20 Quality Place (off Hwy. 146)
Buckner, KY  40010
  
If you could use a night out as a couple, let the Y watch the kids while you spend some time together.  The kids will have fun playing games, doing crafts, swimming and much more.  They even provide the dinner. 
  
When:  October 18 – Funky Junk
November 15 – Cooking Up Some Fun
December 13 – Santa’s Workshop “2nd Friday”
  
Time:  5:30 – 11:00 p.m.
Who:  Kids in Kindergarten through 5th grade
Cost:  $18 per child for facility members, $34 for 2 children
$20 per child for program members, $38 for 2 children
  
Registration deadline is the Wednesday prior to each Kid’s Night Out.  Minimum of 10 kids required or event will be cancelled.  Walk-ins and late registrations cannot be accepted in order to maintain safe ratios in the pool area  and ensure adequate supplies.  
  
For more information, or to register, call: (502) 222-9358
  
  
  
Corn Maze

Come join the fun Fridays from 5pm to 10pm, Saturdays from 1pm to 10pm and Sundays from 1pm to 6pm. Admission is $10 for adults and children over 13, $5 for children 5-12, and FREE for kids under the age of 4! Enjoy hayrides,games, and 12+ acres divided into 3 separate mazes that challenge visitors of all ages. Weekdays are available to groups by appointment. Contact info@lifeadventurecenter.org for more details!

 

 

  
How Their Marriages Were Saved/Enhanced
  

Did you know that most couples will go through a period the “experts” call the misery stage?  It’s what they do at this point that can make or break a marriage.  We hope you will join us as a few couples share their different stories. We think you will be inspired.
  
October 26 – 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
  
  
Baptist Health – LaGrangediv>

2nd Floor Conference Room
1025 New Moody Lane
LaGrange, KY  40031
  
  
mercy 2010 workshopsWeekend to Remember
  
This getaway weekend is a time to be together as a couple to invest in and strengthen the foundation of your marriage, no matter how firm or fragile it is.  By getting away from the distractions of life, you can fortify your most important relationship and work toward building wonderful memories together, for decades to come.  
  
The regular registration fee is $149 per person, however if you register using our group name, MECY, the registration fee is only $89.99 per person.  This fee does not include overnight accommodations.  (There is a special $105/night at The Galt House for this event.)
  
November 15-17
Galt House Hotel
  
For additional information about the weekend, go to http://www.familylife.com/weekend
To register go to:  http://shop,familylife.com/p2800-louisville.aspx or call 1-800-358-6329.  Be sure to include our group name (MERCY) for your discount to the conference.
  
  
  
“Experiencing Forgiveness in Marriage”  
play date  
    Forgiveness is a choice.  We choose life for ourselves
    and others when we forgive. Is it always easy?  No.
    But it is healing.   Please join us as
    Michael Taylor, LMFT, will be helping us
    experience forgiveness in this workshop.
November 9 – 9:30 – 11:00 a.m.




Baptist Health – Louisville, KY
2nd Floor by Cafeteria Seating Area
4000 Kresge Way
Louisville, KY  40207

 

  
  
  
 

New Resources At MERCY

 

How We Love  by Milan and Kay Yerkovich

 

 

Practical Help for Building a Stronger, More Passionate Marriage

Every adult bears an “imprint of intimacy”- an inner sense of how much emotional vulnerability they can risk based on childhood lessons about handling their feelings and needs. Those past experiences shape your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all current relationships, especially marriage.

 

 

 

 

 The 7 Minute Marriage Solution by Stephen Arterburn

 

Drawing from an extensive national survey of more than 1,300 men and women, best-selling author Stephen Arterburn first reveals 7 things you must stop doing that damage your marriage.  Second, he presents 7 positive things you must start doing to build a great marriage.  But most important:  he tells you what to do if your spouse is not willing to do anything.   

 

  
Contact Information
           

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
7204 Hwy. 329
Crestwood, KY  40014
(502)  939-0121
visit:  www.mercky.org

  
           
           

Thank you for your active involvement in this ministry.  We hope you will visit our web site often as we are constantly adding new information.  We also hope you will read our Monday Morning Blogs.  If we can help you in any way, please get in touch with us.
  
Grace and peace,
  
Penny and David Hudson

September 2013 Newsletter

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)

September Newsletter

From The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)

laughing-couple-greyscale.jpg
kissing couple

Did you know that boredom weakens relationships, while adding excitement is shown, in research, to strengthen bonds?  Fortunately, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to add more excitement to your marriage.
  
That’s why we are looking forward to John and Emily Stewart, marriage facilitators, being back with us September 21 to share some real life experiences and useful tips on keeping your marriage exciting.
  
Shortly after their last visit,  I bought one of the books they recommended on romance (101 Nights of Great Romance)  and I confess it added some spice to our lives.  So we hope you will be with us and take your relationship from perhaps pleasant to a little more fun.  See more details below.
  
Grace and peace,
  
Penny and David
  
  

 

September’s Marriage Tip

Today’s tip comes from the 5 Love Languages – Practically Speaking post:

‘I bought a ‘pop-up’ post-it dispenser and wrote ‘why I love you’ on each post it, then wrapped it back up and gave it to my husband to keep on his desk.  Some were silly and some were more serious. He loves pulling the next one out when he needs a pick me up.” – Becky.
 

 

fabric-heart-stilllife.jpg Create Your Own Happily Ever After

Last month, we shared with you an article from Dan Pearce called “16 Ways I Blew My Marriage.” This month, we want to share with you some insights from Val McKinley, who after 23 years of marriage, divorced.  She later fell in love with her current husband. They both brought two teenage children to the marriage.  She said, “Life was filled with much joy.”  However, after several months she tells her readers reality set in and she began to realize that her first marriage had started out as lovingly and full of promise as her current one. She said, “This time around I was determined to learn from my mistakes and ‘do’ marriage differently.  At the time, I sensed long-term relationships must share certain common traits and I was determined to discover what these were.”
After extensive research and interviewing happy couples who had been together at least twenty years, and personal experience, here are the top seven tips she has for nurturing a relationship.
  1. Express your love daily – Small acts such as a kind word, a good deed, a long kiss, a warm embrace or quickly repairing hurt feelings can do wonders.
  2. In an honest, respectful and timely fashion, share what’s on your mind.  Tell each other what you want, need, and feel so that the other person knows who you are and where you’re coming from.
  3. Create daily couple time to share your day.
  4. Laugh with your partner
  5. Read  The Heart of The Five Love Languages  by Dr. Gary Chapman
  6. Weekly, ask each other – on a scale of 1-5 if they feel loved.  If the answer is 4 or less, ask your partner to suggest something you could do for them over the following week.
Val McKinney wrote this article for the North Valley Magazine.

We’d add another:  Pray with one another on a regular basis.  You might say, “Well I don’t feel comfortable praying aloud with my spouse.”  That’s okay; if that’s the case we often ask our couples to start out by holding hands and silently pray for one another and their marriage and when finished just squeeze the other’s hand.  As they get more comfortable, then we encourage them to begin praying sentence prayers together and build from there. There is something very intimate when we can  pray together as husband and wife. 


wedding-rings.jpg
Should You See a Marriage Counselor? 

“Every married couple goes through a period of disenchantment and each deals with it differently,” writes Jim Smith in “Learning to Live With The One You Love.
“In fact, you can add it to the list of things that are certain in life:  death, taxes and disenchantment in marriage.”
The good news is we do not have to remain at this stage.  Most marriages could be improved, and many saved, if couples were willing to get help and work at rebuilding the relationship. As Michael Taylor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, points out, “counseling isn’t for everyone.”  Some couples, like Bill and Lisa, have benefited greatly by attending workshops at MERCY and other marriage enrichment events that have helped them learn new relationship skills. Even reading a book together on marriage may be the turning point some people need.  For others, counseling may be the most courageous steps they will ever take to improve their relationship.
 
So when should you seek counseling?  Here are just a few indicators that a couple could benefit from counseling:
 
– They are unhappy.
– Communication has become negative
– They do not know how to resolve their differences
– They are holding onto past hurts
– They are considering separation or a divorce
– They are dealing with an affair
–  They are experiencing sexual difficulties
–  There is emotional or physical abuse between them
–  They are dealing with problems with their children
–  They think they might be happier with someone else
–  They feel stuck
 
It is a sign of strength and intelligence to get help in the many facets of maintaining and improving our lives.

Some Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Pastoral Counselors 
Following is a list of professional counselors with whom MERCY has built relationships and you may want to consider if you are in need of a therapist/counselor:

 Michael Taylor, LMFT,  Triune Counseling  

Michael has been in the mental health field for over 30 years, specializing in couples therapy and treatment of adolescents and adult trauma victims, as well as adults with depression & anxiety issues. He is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples Counseling (EFT is the latest research-based treatment for couples available, with over 75% success rate). He is co-facilitator of a Victims of Infidelity therapy group, and is trained in hypnosis therapy.  Website:  http://therapyformarriage.com/staff-contact 

(502) 387-8802 

  

 

 Dr. Valerie Vincent, Certified Pastoral Counselor, D. Min – Hardy, Day and Associates, LLC

 

Much of Dr. Vincent’s work is with individuals.  She often works with women with issues concerning depression, anxiety, relationships and general life stressors. At times she works with teenagers, families, and couples.  She is able to help clients identify patterns of behavior in their lives and evaluate how those behaviors or patterns of thniking are impacting their relationships, work, faith and self-understanding.  Website: http://hardydayassociates.com   (502) 894-9390

 

 

 

Glenn Williams – Pastoral Counselor  – St. Matthews Pastoral Counseling Center.  In addition, Glenn also works at some satellite offices.  

 

Glenn provides individual, marital, family, and group counseling. His clinical background includes serving in a variety of settings including inpatient, outpatient, and private practice settings.  He has served a wide variety of clients including those struggling with mood disorders (depression, anxiety, bipolar disorders), thought disorders, and personality disorders.  He has extensive practice for those overcoming emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.  Marital counseling comprises a significant portion of his case load.  He has been privileged to be a therapist to therapists, professional healthcare providers, and clergy.  He can also provide pastoral counseling supervision. Website:  http://smpcc.net   (502)  893-981

 

Joe Arnold, LPCC, CADC  heads up North Springs Counseling Services. 

 

North Springs Counseling Services provides professional counseling from a Christian perspective at a reasonable fee.  They provide counseling for individual adults, adolescents and children. They also offer relationship, pre-marital and marital counseling, family counseling, group therapy and educational programs.

 

They address relationship enhancement, emotional struggles, men’s and women’s issues, separation and divorce, abuse survivors, anxiety, depression, grief, loss and problems with anger. Additional areas include: stress management, conflict mediation, life transitions such as adolescence, sexuality, career choices and changes, parenting, mid-life and retirement.  Blended family issues are part of their services and are available to help with struggles with faith, beliefs, values and meaning and purpose.  Website:   http://necchurch.org/northspringscounselingservices     (502)  212-0432

 

 

 

 

Sharon Shapanus, LMFT/LCSW – Abounding Hope Counseling Services 

 

Sharon offers counseling and therapy for ADD and/or ADHD, aggression and anger management, anxiety and panic disorders, aspergers, co-dependency, depression, divorce, eating disorders and body image issues, grief and loss, infidelity, obsessive compulsive disorders, physical, sexual and emotional abuse, school and work issues, stress and phobias and trauma.  She works with children, couples, families, grandparents raising grandchildren, individuals, parents and teens.  Website:  www.aboundinghopecounseling.info  (502) 594-4864

 

 

 

 

Heather Brooks, LMFT – Heather has her own private practice in Crestwood, KY but also works with Life Care Counseling in downtown Louisville and Beechland Pastoral Counseling Center in Pleasure Ridge Park, Kentucky.

 

Heather specializes in pre-marital and marriage counseling, and working with adolescent females.  Her passion to become a Christian-based Marriage and Family Therapist began during her years in high school.  By integrating her undergraduate degree from Boyce Bible College with her Master of Science in Social Work degree from the University of Louisville Kent School, she desires to be used by Christ as a tool to nurture people meeting them where they are in their lives.

(502)  693-7885. http://www.beechlandbaptist.org/ministries/counseling, http://www.lifecarelouisville.org  

 

 

 

Upcoming Marriage Events

Keeping Your Marriage Healthy and Exciting  

We hope you will be with us for this workshop.  We think you will be blessed.  Believe us, this couple practices what they teach and you will walk away with some great tips.
 
Saturday, September 21
9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
 
Baptist Health – Louisville
2nd Floor by Cafeteria Seating Area
4000 Kresge Way
Louisville, KY  40207
 
Registration is requested, but not required.  To pre-register or for additional information, call (502)  939-0121; email:  pdhud9@aol.com or visit:  www.mercyky.org 
 
  home run
FREE MOVIE NIGHT
 
September 29 – 4:00 p.m.
Holloway Building of the Kavanaugh Life Enrichment Center –
Floydsburg Road Entrance

This would be a great date-night for couples, however, please know it is open to everyone.  
David and I saw this movie at the theater this summer and thought it was powerful and want to give others the opportunity to see it.  So we hope you will join us and invite others to attend.  To register, please go to www.mercyky.org and click on the link at the top that says Home Run.  
Synopis:  

Baseball all-star Cory Brand knows what it takes to win in the big leagues. But off the field, with memories of his past haunting him, his life is spiraling out of control.

Hoping to save her client’s career and reputation after a DUI and a team suspension, Cory’s agent sends him back to the small town where he grew up. Forced to coach the local youth baseball team and spend eight weeks in the only recovery program in town, Cory can’t wait to return to his old life as quickly as possible.

As his young players help him experience the joy of the game, Cory discovers his need to find freedom from his past and hope for his future … and win back the love he left behind. With this unexpected second chance, Cory finds himself on a powerful journey of transformation and redemption.

Based on thousands of true stories, HOME RUN is a powerful reminder that with God, it’s never too late … freedom is possible.

 

To see a trailer of this movie click on the link below:

   


 
 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a ten week free relationship training program in a fun, interactive group setting where you will learn communication skills, conflict resolution skills and more.  This is a government-sponsored program that is available in Shepherdsville, Shelbyville and Taylorsville, KY. 

 

Day and evening classes offered year round.  Various incentives are available to attend these classes.  

 

Shepherdsville’s next program will begin Monday evenings, starting October 21 at 6:00 p.m.  For additional information, or to register, call:  (502)  543-4077.  Or you can also call (502)  633-7162 for additional information on the other locations.  

 

play date

 How Their Marriages Were Saved
 
We’d like to invite you to a little different type of event on October 26 at MERCY.  Several couples, who have been through some struggles in their marriages, will be sharing “How Their Marriages Were Saved.”  So if you would like to know how they were able to survive some challenges and now how they keep their marriages strong, we hope you will be with us.  Also, please invite others who may benefit from hearing their stories.
 
October 26
9:30 – 11:00 a.m.
 
Baptist Health – LaGrange
2nd Floor Conference Room
1025 New Moody Lane
LaGrange, KY  40031
 
Registration is requested but not required.  To pre-register, or for more information, call:  (502)  939-0121; email:  pdhud9@aol.com or visit:  www.mercyky.org 
 
 

Weekend to Remember

 This getaway weekend is a time to be together as a couple to invest in and strengthen the foundation of your marriage, no matter how firm or fragile it
is. By getting away from the distractions of life, you can fortify your most important relationship and work toward building wonderful memories together, for decades to come.
 
The regular registration fee is $149 per person, however, if you register using our group name, MERCY, the registration fee is only $89.99 per person.  This fee does not include overnight accommodations.  (There is a special $105/nt at The Galt House for this event.)
 
November 15-17
Galt House Hotel
 
For additional information about the weekend, go to:  http://www.familylife.com/weekend 
To register to to:  http://shop.familylife.com/p-2800-louisville.aspx or call 1-800-358-6329. Be sure to include our group name (MERCY) for your discount to the conference.
 

 

   

  
In This Issue
September Marriage Tip
Create Your Own Happily Ever After
Should You See a Marriage Counselor
Some Therapists and Counselors
Upcoming Marriage Events
A Heart-Warming Video and Song
 

guitar-slider.jpg

A Heart-Warming Video and Song 
This man wrote a song for his wife of 75 years.  He didn’t qualify for the song writing contest,but the song was chosen anyway.
Hope you will listen and be inspired.

“Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding.”  Proverbs 3:13
 
Contact Information
Penny and David Hudson
7204 Hwy. 329
Crestwood, KY  40014
502-939-0121
email:  pdhud9@aol.com
 

Is He/She Your Super Hero?

I’m reading Kenn Kington’s book called Super Husband and Wonder Wife.

In Chapter 3 he talks about asking his friend to explain to him why he and
his girlfriend at the time (now his wife) should get married. His friend
replied, “Well, if you can’t figure out the first reason you may have the gift
of singleness.”

He said his friend then came up with the most insightful element he
had ever heard. “I began to see marriage in a whole new light,” Kington
said.

Do you know what he said? Here you go:

“If you are looking for someone to meet your needs, make you happy and make your life worthwhile, you will be greatly disappointed, quickly discouraged, and basically unhappy the rest of your life. But if you will
just be the person God has made you to be and find out how you can give your life to someone else by meeting her (or his) needs and making her (or him) happy, you will discover fulfillment, joy and peace in ways you can’t even imagine.”

When David and I do pre-marital education, I’m wondering if we should
begin or end with this message. Or, perhaps it takes a lifetime to realize
that success in life is not what we get, it is what we give.

Blessings,

Penny and David