Mentoring as a Couple

shutterstock_59584579Mentoring couples is one of our favorite things to do.  I’ve got to admit, however, it has reinforced those things we need to do and has helped our marriage probably as much as it has helped the couples with whom we have worked.

Today while my husband was telling me something, I stopped what I was doing, looked straight at him and listened to what he was saying. Many years ago, I would probably have continued on with what I was doing and hearing him, but not engaging with him.  What has turned this around for me is hearing my husband ask couples during our mentoring sessions, “How many people do you know who are really good listeners?”  Then, he goes on to tell them he can count on one hand how many he knows.  He concludes with telling the couples, “You can be that good listener for one another.”  Ouch!  That got my attention.  See I want to be that one person for him because I now know how important it is to him.

Words: A Matter of Life and Death to a Relationship

This morning’s sermon was on “Words:  A Matter of Life and Death.”  As I listened, I thought probably one of the most valuable things I’ve learned in marriage and, in relationships in general, is simply “Think before you speak.” But know this isn’t something I’ve always practiced.  In fact, it’s only in the past few years I’ve tried to be more deliberate in doing this.  Just know it makes a huge difference.  Another lesson I’ve learned is I don’t need to react on everything my husband says.  For years this was a big divide for us.  One of us would say something and then the other would have a rebuttal or comeback. Sometimes you just need to let it go and realize you have different opinions.  It doesn’t make one right and the other wrong.  I’ve got to tell you our communication is so much better since we’ve been putting these two techniques into practice.iStock_000019736204_Large

Bride and Groom Priorities

We couldn’t believe it when our son told us his friend was getting a divorce.  He had only been married a few years.  I recall him telling us how ugirl comfortednbelievably amazing the wedding was.  No expense was spared.  “He really loved her,” our son explained.

With the average cost of weddings today nearing $35,000, I can’t but wonder where are these couple’s priorities?  A wedding is a day but a marriage is suppose to last a lifetime.  How much better would it had been if they had  put as much time and effort into preparing for a marriage instead of a wedding.  My heart breaks because I believe if couples would get pre-marital education, there would be less and less of these type of divorces.