“I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.”
I should have just said, “I understand, or ask why he wasn’t looking forward to it.” After being married as long as we have , I had a pretty good idea why he dreaded it. Instead, I began with “Yes, but. . .” trying to justify why he shouldn’t feel this way.
I know better than this and after it spilled out of my mouth, I felt badly. Too late. I did come back the next morning and said, “Even though I know we should go, it’s not my favorite thing to do either so I understand.” But it would have been much better if I’d forgone the initial lecture.
After all, we tell couples,”Listen, affirm the other’s feelings. You don’t have to agree. Make it safe for your partner to share. If you come back with a rebuttal, criticism or immediately jump in to fix it, they are more than likely going to be reluctant to keep sharing.” This holds true for them and it rang true for me. Sure hope I’ll do better next time.