Are You Jumping to Conclusions?

It was the coldest day in a decade – 5 degrees below zero.  When the fire started, her first instinct was to go for water to put it out. But there was no water.  Within a few minutes, the house was engulfed in flames and everything she had was destroyed.

“If they hadn’t cut my water off I could have put the fire out,” she screamed. She was furious and left several messages on the office’s answering machine telling them the fire was their fault for turning off her water.  “I paid my bill on time!  Why would they do that?” she kept repeating.  Come to find out, her water hadn’t been turned off.  Instead the pipes had frozen.

How often do we do this in our marriages and other relationships?  We believe what we believe because it seems logical to use, but it’s not necessarily true.  We want to know, so in light of knowing, we make assumptions, jump to conclusions.  This often leads to unfairness, disrespect, anger and arguments, division, disappointment and communication divide.

To avoid this toxicity, check out your assumptions.  Reconsider what you think is true about your partner’s motives.  Only you can control how you interpret your spouse’s behavior.  Is there evidence to the contrary of what you might be thinking? Are you camping out on only negatives and failing to look at other alternatives or positive things that happen in your marriage? And last, check it out — communicate and articulate; there’s likely a better outcome when we take the time to re-evaluate the situation.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David