April 2013 Newsletter

April Newletter from MERCY

The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
play date

April 2013 Newsletter

from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)

Greetings!
There are so many exciting things happening at The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY).

  • On May 17, we are working with Crestwood Baptist Church to bring you a fun date night.  You won’t want to miss this. Kenn Kington, professional comedian, promises it will be the greatest date since your honeymoon!  See details below.
  • And speaking of date nights, more are on the way.  We now have a “Date Night Coordinator” and she is hard at work planning some fantastic date night ideas. In the meantime, we want to encourage you to take the “Date Night Challenge for May.” Check it out below.   Thank you Julia for agreeing to take on this task!
  • MERCY will soon have a new web site!  We can’t thank John Baker enough for stepping forward and volunteering to redesign a new web site for us. John is with The Charis Group.  The Charis Group provides e-Presence development and operational coaching for ministries, not-for-profits and sole proprietors. If you would like to discuss how The Charis Group can assist you in your effort, email John at:  WebServant@TheCharisGroup.com

These are just a few of the things that are happening and we hope you will stay tuned as more things unfold.  Thank you for your faithfulness to this ministry.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David Hudson

 

The Ultimate Date Night

kenn kington poster Kenn Kington, professional comedian,

is coming live to Crestwood Baptist Church Friday, May 17 at 7:00 p.m.

If you’d like a fun date night where you will laugh a lot, learn a little and eat great desserts, you don’t want to miss this event.

Tickets are $15 per person in advance; $20 per person at the door.

For tickets or additional information go to:

www.crestwoodbaptist.org or call (241-8534).

To know more about Kenn, go to www.kennkington.com

Invite some friends and come join us!  You’ll have a blast!  Kenn says, it will be the best date since your

honeymoon.

April Marriage Tip –

Are You Assertive Enough in Your Relationship?

man woman How easy is it for you to express your feelings and ask for what you want in a relationship?

When we work with couples, this is often an area that needs work.  One spouse has these hidden expectations and when they aren’t fulfilled, he/she is frustrated, disappointed or just down right mad.   They think, “If he/she really loved me they would (fill in the blank), yet this person may never have told their spouse what he/she wanted, needed or expected.  They may be hinting or hoping but not really saying it.  For example:

Perhaps Joe wants to go fishing with his buddies this weekend.  So he says to Susie, his wife, something like, “The guys are going fishing this weekend.”

He is hoping Susie will say, “Well, why don’t you go with them?”

And when she doesn’t, he is disappointed.

Instead, he needs to be more direct – in a nice way.

“I’d really like to go fishing with the guys this weekend.

How would you feel about that?”

So the next time you are feeling frustrated because your needs, wants or expectations are not being met, ask yourself if you are being assertive enough in your relationship.

In This Issue
The Ultimate Date Night
Are you Assertive Enough in Your Relationship?
Your Date Night Challenge
Volunteer Wish List
How to Help a Friend Whose Marriage Is Falling Apart
Additional Marriage Enrichment Opportunities
Grief Workshop
Join our Mailing List!

Your Date Night Challenge –

(Take the Challenge and You Might

Win a Prize!)

Dating your spouse is one of the most important things you can do to preserve your marriage.  Somehow once the vows have been said, children come along, work piles up “date nights” take a back seat to all the other obligations.  Then, our marriages often become predictable, boring and dull.  Not a good thing.  In fact, the experts tell us boredom in marriage may be worse than conflict. Dating can be the building block to a better relationship.  It gives couples a break from parenthood, injects some excitement, becomes a channel to express our love, collect memories and allows us to get reacquainted.

Reacquainted?  Think you know everything about your spouse? Answer the questions below and see.  We would also like to give you our “May Date Night Challenge.”  Go ahead.  Take it.  Plan an adventure together.  Send in your ideas.  We want to hear about your adventure. For the couple who comes up with the best “date night” adventure, and can send us a picture, they will receive two tickets to the Louisville Bats game.

But first, let’s see how well you know your spouse in the adventure department.

  1. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous is our life together?
  2. Would you call me adventurous?
  3. What is the last totally spontaneous thing we’ve done together?
  4. What do you think of when you think of adventure?
  5. Do I have any adventures personally that you feel get in the way of us as a couple (e.g., hunting, shopping, golf, watching sports, etc.)?
  6. As your spouse, how can I help you be more adventurous?
  7. The biggest barrier to adventure in our marriage is __________________.
  8. Some creative ways to work around or overcome that barrier include __________.
  9. When it comes to adventure in our marriage, I feel most loved when you__________.
  10. Did you ever see your parents being adventurous?

A great big thank you to Julia for coming up with this Date Night Challenge!

Volunteer Wish List
play date

We are thrilled with those who have volunteered to help with MERCY, but we are still praying for additional help in several areas:
Public Relations Advocate:  Have you benefited from being a part of MERCY’s services?  Perhaps you attend our workshops, have been mentored, or were you one who needed help in some way and turned to MERCY.  What better spokesperson could there be than someone who has been a part of this ministry in some way.  If you are good with meeting people and championing a cause, we’d love to talk with you. We’re looking for someone who would be willing to call on churches/organizations to introduce MERCY to them or set up a booth at local events, etc.
Small-Group Marriage Leaders: We would love to offer six to eight week marriage studies based on Christian principles. We’re looking at topics, such as improving communication, better conflict resolution skills, building teamwork in marriage, building up your spouse, etc.  In other words, relationship skills that will help couples have healthy and satisfying marriages.   Have you led a small group in the past and would be willing to lead a study for a short period of time? We understand that you may not want to commit to this long term but if you might be open to facilitating one study, we’d love to talk with you.
Prayer Warriors:  We are in need of folks who will be willing to pray for MERCY.  So if
you could commit to doing this, we’d really appreciate it.

 

How to Help a Friend Whose Marriage Is Falling Apart

It’s evident that most of us will be touched by a friend or relative who is going through a divorce.  What we say, or don’t say may alter that person’s life forever.  So how should we respond?

Let Your Friend Do The Talking

Allowing your friend to articulate what’s felt will help her sort out her situation.  But listening requires your undivided attention and accepting what’s said, even when you don’t agree.

Don’t deny or squelch your friend’s feelings.  If she says, “I don’t feel like Jim really loves me anymore and I have nothing left to give,” refrain from saying, “You shouldn’t feel like that.”  But be wary of saying you understand when you can’t.  Everyone’s pain is different.

Express Support 

Display a loving, caring attitude by letting your friend know you are honored by, and will honor, her disclosure to you.  Don’t assure her things will get better if she just gives it time.

Maintain Neutrality

It’s important to avoid showing favoritism or taking sides, especially when you are friends with the husband and wife.  Also avoid becoming the confidante to the friend of the opposite sex.  Most people who are going through marital issues desperately need someone who will sympathize and understand, and the emotional attraction can be powerful.

Encourage Your Friend to Seek Help 

There’s no shame in having marital problems.  Strongly recommend the help of a professional/pastoral counselor, mentor or a program such as Retrouvaille, New Beginnings or The National Institute of Marriage.  Links to all these programs are listed on our web site www.kymrc.com and we have a list of professional counselors we can recommend.

Be Sensitive to Your Marriage

Trying to help someone who is having marital difficulties can sometimes show what a great marriage you have. On the other hand, it can open a door for you to become critical and negative toward your spouse.  Don’t allow negative feelings to spill into your relationship.

When involved with the unraveling of a marriage, although you cannot take away or make decisions for the couple, you can be that instrument God uses to express His love and care.

 Additional Marriage Enrichment Opportunities

Wives will be encouraged to love God and encourage their husbands daily by special guest Pam Farrel, the author of 52 ways to WOW your husband. Pam Farrel and her husband Bill are coauthors of the bestselling Men Are Like Waffles – Women Are Like Spaghetti and cofounders of Love-Wise, connecting love and wisdom and bringing practical insights to personal relationships.
“The WOW Wife” is designed for ladies’ busy lives and to enrich their marriage.
Thursday, May 9 – 6:30 p.m. – Fellowship Hall 2
Southeast Christian Church
Tickets are $10 each
For additional information you can go to:
or call Barb Saylor at (502)  253-8023 or email her at:  bsaylor@secc.org
 
love and respect

Love and Respect Video Conference
May 3-4
Lexington, KY
First Assembly of God
2780 Clays Mill Road
Friday 6-10 p.m and Saturday 8:00 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.
For additional information or to register go to:

 The Art of Marriage Video Conference

 art of marriage

May 17-18
Lawrenceburg, KY
Ninevah Christian Church
1195 Ninevah Road
Friday 6-10 p.m. and Saturday 8:00 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.

For additional information or to register go to:

 
June’s Workshop at MERCY – Change in the date – Now June 15
Due to an unforeseen circumstance, our June workshop on “Financial Stress – It’s Not Just The Money,” will now be Saturday, June 15 rather than June 22, the date it was originally scheduled.  So please make a note of this change. We will still be at Baptist Health – Louisville, 4000 Kresge Way, Louisville, KY  40207.  John and Mary Ann Vanderveer will still be our presenters for this workshop.  You loved them last year when they did a workshop on The Five Languages of Apology and we are sure you will enjoy this workshop as well.

 

Grief Workshop

The loss of a loved one in a family, impacts the dynamics of a marital relationship.  Therefore, we wanted to make you aware of a new 6-week facilitated workshop on grief for those who are struggling and coping with the loss of a loved one.

May 6 – June 10

Immaculate Conception Church

502 N. 5th Avenue

LaGrange, KY  40031

11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.

The workshop is open to all and gives people the opportunity to share their grief, learn positive coping skills and learn a way to create a “new normal” that honors their loved one.  For additional information or to register, please call:  Marilyn Geist at (502)  548-8060 or Sharon Clark (502)  241-2945.  There is no cost for the workshop.

If at any time you have suggestions, comments, ideas you would like to share with us, we’d love to hear from you.  We are here to serve you.
Sincerely,
Penny and David Hudson
The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)

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